A guy called me beautiful today and it made me think of how you’ve never called me beautiful or given me a proper compliment or told me I looked nice a certain day or just looked at me in pure amazement.
I want to like him, I want to like him so much. Because he’s so sweet and you’re just an asshole I let control me.
But I can’t stop thinking of you. I can’t stop thinking of how I’ll see you in a few months and I probably won’t love you anymore because you’re already fading. But I don’t want to forget you.
I can’t forget you. If I forget you…
Then who will I be? If I forget you, I won’t be me anymore.
I’ll lose you along with myself.
I hate you.
And I believe it now, I really do. There’s no one I’ve hated more than you right this second.
You’ve destroyed my life and I’m done loving you.
Go fuck yourself.
I deserve him and more. I deserve the fucking world and roses at 7 am and morning kisses and nice dinners and trips to France and being treated like a princess and being touched like I’m the finest piece of gold anyone could ever find.
But you don’t deserve me.
I don’t need you.
I don’t need anyone.”